1. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: ‘Got enough air in there?’
2. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while and then announce: ‘I’ve got new socks on!’
3. Meow occasionally.
4. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
5. Frown and mutter ‘gotta go, gotta go’ then sigh and say ‘oops!’
6. Walk on with a cooler that says ‘human head’ on the side.
7. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce ‘You’re one of THEM!’ and move to the far corner of the elevator.
8. Stare at your thumb and say ‘I think it’s getting larger.’
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Announce in a demonic voice: ‘I must find a more suitable host body.’
11. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your ‘personal space.’
12. Say ‘I wonder what all these do’ and push the red buttons.
13. Lean against the button panel.
14. Say ‘Ding!’ at each floor.
15. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask ‘is that your beeper?’
16. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: ‘Oh, not now, motion sickness!’
17. Do Tai Chi exercises.
18. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go ‘plink’ at the bottom.
19. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
20. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: ‘Shut up, all of you just shut UP!’